What I Learned From the OAFM/OACP Peacemakers Conference
What I Learned From the OAFM/OACP Peacemakers Conference
Gathering with like-minded professionals at a recent conference reminded me of how important connection is for mental wellness. This Friday we will reflect on how to connect with others in our lives.
So glad you are here. Friday Five is all about being intentional about our mental health. 5 ideas, questions, tools, and resources to encourage you to lean in, care for yourself and reset.
Last weekend I attended the Ontario Association for Family Mediation (OAFM) and the Ontario Association for Collaborative Practice (OACP) Peacemakers Conference. These colleagues are committed to helping families separate in a respectful, non-adversarial way. If you are facing separation, these are the people you want to have to help you through it.
The conference was the first IN-PERSON conference in 4 years! Here are 5 things I learned from being at the conference.
1. NOTHING beats being together in person. Don’t get me wrong. I am a huge fan of technology and the opportunity to connect with others virtually. It saved us during the pandemic and continues to provide opportunities to connect with others who don’t live near us. The reality though is that being together in person is THE BEST!! You can’t hug a screen. We are wired for human connection!
2. Introductions are important. The keynote speaker at the conference was Sarain Fox, an Indigenous woman, storyteller, activist, artist, and ambassador. Check out her Ted Talk here: https://sarainfox.com/. She talked to us about the power of honest introductions. Apparently, telling people that I am “Michele from Dundas” isn’t enough. Sarain kept prompting us: “Where are you from?” The point is that our family histories ARE important, even the messy, ugly parts. They have shaped us. They tell a story worth sharing and assist us in connecting to others. I am still reflecting on this one!
3. Dancing is therapy. The conference included a great band and DANCING. Yup. Best dance party ever. Pandemic isolation and the long overdue opportunity to let loose and have fun? No invitation is needed to fill the dance floor! Dancing might not be your thing and that’s okay. What do you do to set aside your work, stress, and obligations to be in your “fun zone”?
4. Learning new things is important. Some of the conference workshop topics included intergenerational trauma, negotiation styles, and advocacy. The point is that there is always something new to be learned and applied to our work/life. It’s too easy to get stuck in one’s own perspective and then gather information to confirm that we are “right”. Staying open, curious and willing to grow is important for all of us. In fact, staying open and curious as Family Mediators and Collaborative Practice professionals set us apart in the separation/divorce world. We seek to learn how we can best help each UNIQUE family, without assuming that we are the expert on that family.
5. Healthy relationships are critical for our well-being. This includes our work relationships. Spending time getting to know our colleagues by finding out about their personal lives and what is important to them, is necessary to be able to do our best work. In the Family Mediation and Collaborative Practice fields, this is especially important. When we take the time to get to know the other professional members of a Collaborative team, we work more effectively and efficiently. When there’s a disagreement, it’s easier to address it directly with a colleague you know personally. When a team presents as unified, respectful, and friendly towards each other, it sets the tone for the team meetings and process in general. Take the time to get to know the people you work with. Job satisfaction increases when we have good relationships at work.
The biggest takeaway from the conference for me is the importance of connection. Knowledge is valuable, and so is dancing (or your version of dancing!), but nothing beats the value of meaningful human connection. It is the time spent with people I respect, love, and care about, that lingers long after the event is over. I am so glad I have spent the time over the years building wonderful relationships. My life is full because of it!
Take away: Who is one colleague (or person in your world if you aren’t working) that you will reach out to this week (no procrastinating!) to spend time with (ideally in person)?